The problem with Christmas turkey ...

I don't know why you humans complain about Christmas turkey leftovers.  I think they're yummy.  In fact, after my first dish of Christmas turkey on Christmas Day, my human kept giving me it for days and days afterwards.  It was yummy.

But then there came a day when apparently there was no more ...

I kept asking my human for more, but she kept telling me that there wasn't any.

She even gave me a dish with lots and lots of Dreamies in it.  Many more than I usually get. 

But I didn't want them.

Yes; you read that right.

I didn't want Dreamies.

I wanted Christmas turkey.  After having Christmas turkey, Dreamies just didn't taste the same.

When she wouldn't give me any more Christmas turkey, I succumbed to the lure of the Dreamies in the dish.

But I couldn't bring myself to eat them all.  They just didn't taste the same anymore ...

  

Mind you, that was yesterday.

Today, Dreamies taste as good as ever ... & I've already had 2 dishes of them!

Christmas turkey doesn't last ... but Dreamies do ...

More Christmas upset ...

As if the Santa Claws hat wasn't enough to upset me though, I learned that my human had been enjoying Christmas Day with another cat, whilst she left me all on my own at home.

I know she has other cats in her life, and I'm (kind of) okay with this, because it's always me she comes home to.  And I knew that on Christmas Day, she'd be seeing the cat called Smudge.



And that was okay.  (Kind of)

But what wasn't okay were the photos that I found.

I wasn't happy to see that he got to share a glass of mulled wine with her.



Not that I wanted any.  I don't understand why you humans drink alcohol.  It just seems to make you either get sleepy or more stupid than usual.  Nothing at all like catnip ....


So no; I didn't any.  But it hurt me to find this picture on my human's phone ... of Smudge sitting with my human's glass of mulled wine.




And then, I kept looking at her phone.  Maybe I shouldn't have.  I know it's not good to spy on your human, but sometimes I just need to know what she's up to when she's not at home.




And then ... I found this picture.



And this one hurt.



Smudge sitting at the Christmas table ... whilst I'd been sitting at home all by myself.

Things did get a bit better though because when my human did eventually decide to come back home, she brought me a lovely plate of Christmas turkey, which was yummy.

In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that the Christmas turkey was nicer than my Dreamies ...

The Santa Claws hat ...

You humans really are silly at times.  

I watch some of the things that my human puts on her body, and I wonder what on earth she's wearing.  No matter what she puts on, it never looks as good, or fits as well as my lovely furry coat.

But at Christmas you really do seem to go to extremes ...

I mean; have you seen what my human was apparently wearing?  

I didn't see her, because this happened somewhere else.  There's no way she'd have dared let me see her looking like that.     Just look; little Santa Claws' on her ears.  How stupid does she look?    

And the human sitting next to her with a really stupid hat on, is the human she calls 'Dad.'  He's the one who comes to feed me when my human goes away. 

She tried to put a Santa Claws hat on my head ... "No way human!" I said and grabbed it off her before she could get it near my head ...

I will not lower myself to the standards of you humans.  If you want to look stupid, that's fine.  But just don't expect me to join you ...

Santa Claws brought me Dreamies ...

On Christmas Eve, my human tried to con me.  

She'd bought some other treats, which I'd refused to eat.  "It's Dreamies or nothing I told her."  But she didn't listen.  She tried to mix my Dreamies in with the other treats to try & fool me.

But I wasn't going to be fooled.  I know the difference between Dreamies and other inferior treats.

So I ate the Dreamies.  And left the other treats.

That's the other treats left sitting in my dish.



So I went to bed that night wishing that Santa Claws would be lots and lots of Dreamies ...




This is me & my human opening our presents on Christmas morning after Santa Claws had been ...










And ...  "Oh; wow!!  Look, in my first present I opened, I got Dreamies!"

I opened another present ... & I got more Dreamies!!

My human was right though about me spoiling myself for Christmas Day by finding the catnip toys.  It seems that they really had been for Christmas.  And I'd had them.  And I got no more.  But still ... I got Dreamies ...

 & life felt dreamily wonderful on Christmas morning ... 

Dreamies and more Dreamies for me to eat ...

Paw prints on my human ...

Oops!

Look what happened last night; I was snuggling into my human as usual, but I must have snuggled in a little bit too tightly.

I left a bit of a paw print on her arm!  That red mark in the middle of the picture, is from my paw!!

It's gone now though, which is a shame really.  I liked having left my mark on my human ... proved she belonged to me.

Oops!

Christmas catnip capers ...

I got into a bit of trouble before Christmas with some presents ...

First of all, a big white parcel was delivered to our door.  I wish you could have smelt it; it was so, so tempting.  I just had to try and get into it.

Apparently this wasn't the right thing to do though.  And my human wasn't very happy with me, but I did manage to get inside of it and found it full ... of catnip filled toys!  Wow!!



I pulled 3 of them out.  My human tried to take them off me, but I was having none of it and I scratched her hand.



Apparently the catnip toys were Christmas presents for me and the other cats in my human's life.  How was I meant to know that?  And what did I care about Christmas anyway?  I'm a cat.  If there's catnip in the house I want it ... now ... not at Christmas.






She eventually gave up and gave me one of them ... although I wasn't happy that she took 2 of them away.





But at least she left me with a nice red fish to play with.

Which I did for a while, very happily.  Getting increasingly high and happy on catnip!  It's great stuff!  I read about you humans drinking alcohol and taking drugs ... you haven't tried anything until you've tried Catnip!








Although I was happy with my red fish, I remembered all the other toys in the bag and I began sniffing the air to try and find them.

My human had tried to hide them from me, but she hadn't considered the power of my little nose.  Or teh enticing smell of catnip.

And it didn't take me long to sniff them out ...



On top of the new cooker hood wasn't a very inventive place now was it human?



So she moved them again ...

And it wasn't long before I found them again.







This time, she'd hidden them in our big junk cupboard.  Which was quite a good place ... until she left the door open a little bit!

And I was in there!  I got the packet again.  I got a blue one with stars this time!









And then I got into trouble for helping her wrap her Christmas presents up ...   (There's sometimes just no pleasing you humans.  And anyway, what's the point of wrapping presents up, when you've just got to tale the paper off again?  Seems stupid to me.)


For sitting inside them & their poppy pop-pop  paper ....










 For sitting on them ...

(If she didn't want me to sit on them, she shouldn't have put them on the floor, should she?!)





You humans are funny when it comes to Christmas!  I've got a lot more to tell you about my Christmas, but it's time for a sleep just now ...

I'll have a rest & then tell you more later ...

My cosy carrier bag ...

My human threw this old carrier bag onto the sofa ... looked like a cosy place to sleep ...

Yes, looks good ... 

Time to snuggle down ...

Time to close the outside world out ...

That's me settled for the rest of the night 

Oh, sorry human; you wanted to sit on the sofa?

Tough!!

My busy Saturday night ...

I'm all worn out. I've had such a busy night ...

This is me relaxing on my human's knee after being busy all night ...

Before I got to relax though, I had lots of things to do.

First of all I helped my human sort out all of the things in our new kitchen cupboards ...

I'm just glad that we no longer have pans & dishes & food & cups & goodness knows what else scattered throughout our house. 

And then, I helped her wrap up her Christmas presents ...

I have to admit to being a little bit disappointed not to find anything for me there.

I thought she'd just been teasing me the other day when she said that I'd opened my Christmas present ... do you remember me telling you about that? If not, check back through my recent entries on here & you can read all about it. 

Seems she wasn't though ...

I don't think much of the new kitchen ...

I told you all earlier about my human and the human she calls "Dad" breaking the kitchen didn't I?

Well; it appears we have our new kitchen.  But I have to say I'm not at all impressed with it.  It looks nothing like a kitchen to me.  And it's in the living room!?  What kind of kitchen is that?

I'm beginning to worry that the PhD thingy has taken its toll on my human and she's finally gone mad.

It all started on Thursday night when she put 2 big sheets down on the floor.  I went to bed with her as usual, but once she was asleep, I got up and started to fold the sheets back up.  I didn't want to say anything to her, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I thought I'd just quietly put them away.  It got cold though, so I went back to bed and forget about the sheets ... until we got up the next morning.

"What have you been doing to them?" she asked me, before straightening them back out.  All of my hard work for nothing.

She then told me that they were there ready for our new kitchen.  Why would you need sheets in the living room for a kitchen?

And then, I found my human making her breakfast in the passage.  What was that all about?  Our kitchen seems to be taking over our whole flat.

It just made no sense to me, so after having my breakfast, in the proper kitchen where my dishes are, I went back to bed & snuggled up under the duvet.

A few hours later I got up and sleepily wandered through the living room ... & suddenly stopped in my tracks.

"Woah!!  What's happened here?" I thought.

My human told me it was our new kitchen.

It doesn't look much like a kitchen to me.

The only thing that looks like it might belong in a kitchen is this sink.  But it's not much good here is it?  The carpet will get wet if she washes the dishes here.

I thought I'd give it a closer look over, but it sill doesn't look like a kitchen to me.  

I can't decide if my human has been duped, or if the PhD thingy finally has taken its toll ....

Oh; so this was meant to be my surprise Christmas present was it ... ?!?

What do you mean human; this was meant to be my Christmas present? 

The envelope was on the piano. I smelled catnip. I'm the only cat who lives here, so I knew it must be for me. So I opened it. 

It was a bit difficult, but the smell of that catnip kept me going.

And yes, I'm sorry for biting & scratching you when you tried to take the present off me ... but I just HAD to get in to that catnip.

And look how lovely it was when I did manage to open it ... a lovely little cushion with a Christmas tree on it ... stuffed full of catnip.

Catnip ... to give you humans some idea of how good catnip is, it's like wine & chocolate & everything else yummy all rolled into one ... 

It's nearly as nice as Dreamies ...

My human's broken our kitchen ... & now we need a new one ...

My human has been talking for ages about wanting a new kitchen. We've looked at lots of books & websites with pictures of kitchens in them. But I didn't really know why. There was nothing wrong with our kitchen; it has a lovely corner for my dinner, treats & water dishes & a perfectly comfortable & discreetly placed litter tray. It's fine.

Or at least it was.

And then my human started writing on the walls !?! 

It looked like she was enjoying herself whilst she did it, but I just couldn't work out why she was putting graffiti all over the walls.

And then it got even worse ...

The human she calls 'Dad' came along whilst my human was out at work & started really breaking the kitchen. He was hitting the walls with a hammer. I thought he'd gone mad! 

And I was really worried about what my human would say when she came home to find our kitchen all broken ...

I wanted to stop him, but I didn't know how to.

And then I remembered what she'd written on one of the walls ... "Thank you Dad, xxx"

Did she know he was going to come & break our kitchen?

She must have done if she was thanking him.

And he did do a really good job of breaking it.

I now agree with my human that we need a new kitchen. We can't possibly live with ours as it is now. 

The good thing that came out of it for me though, is that I got treats in bed!

I've never had treats in bed before.

Once I'd decided that my human must have wanted our kitchen breaking (I guess it gives her the excuse to get that new kitchen she's been talking about) I just took myself off to bed. I wasn't going to sit in the dusty, noisy kitchen. I wanted my cosy, comfy snooze.

But because I stayed in there such a long time, Dad the human brought some treats in for me.

He told me not to tell my human that he'd done that, because she probably wouldn't like me having treats in bed.

But he stupidly forgot to take the dish away once I'd eaten them, so when she came home from work & saw my treats dish sitting on the bed next to the creased bit where I'd been lying,my human guessed what he'd done.

I'm just hoping that she thinks that what he did was a good idea ... & that she starts bringing me treats into bed.

I mean ... what better place to have Dreamies than in the place where you have dreamy-dreams?

Leave the PhD thingy alone ...

I've just been looking on my human's Facebook page & she posted this comment earlier with this pic ...

   ~ "This is one of the reasons it's taking me so long to write up my thesis!
~ if she's not miaowing at me for attention, for treats or to be let outside, she's sitting on the books & papers I'm working on or trying to sit on my knee in impossible positions ..."

How can she not see how upset, frustrated & angry I get with her when she keeps doing that PhD thingy? It's like it's the most important & time consuming thing in her life right now. But that's wrong. Because I am!

She put this bit of scrunchy tissue paper down on the floor for me. I think she thought it would distract me & that I'd curl up & go to sleep on it ... she knows how much us cats like to snuggle into boxes & papers.

But I wasn't going to fall for that. Oh no! Do you know how much fun I've been having pawing, scrunching & tearing the paper? And it makes a lovely scrunchy noise.

Which apparently is very annoying & distracting for my human! Tee hee!!

   ~ Well; if she left the PhD thingy alone and played with me instead, I wouldn't need to be such a pest. 

Until she gives it up though, I'm going to continue getting in the way & making as much noise as I can ...

Proper paper pages ...

There's just no escape from it.

I thought that reading in bed would be nice, easy, relaxing stories.

Apparently not though.

This is me & my human snuggling up in bed together to do some bedtime reading ...

But it's not nice bedtime stories she's reading. And it's not even a proper book with proper paper pages ... this is all about the stupid PhD thingy again.

Apparently, the PhD thingy stuff she needs to read is only on here ...

Stupid iPad, stupid PhD thingy ... I just want to throw them both in the bin & have my human all to myself. With proper bedtime stories in a proper book with proper paper pages.

I'll show them how to hide ...

The little human is staying with me & my human again tonight ... 

I don't know what was going on earlier, but the little human went & stood behind the door. For some reason, I think she was hiding from my human.

I didn't like that. No way was I going to let the little human get one over my human.

So I went & sat by the door to tell my human where she was ...

And then, the silly little human went & his behind our nice green chair.

Well, of course I told my human where she was again ...

And then, I began to wonder if this was some game that my human & the little human were playing ... & if so, I thought 'Hide & Seek' would be a good name for it. 

I like that name for a game ... no human would be clever enough to think of it.

So then I got thinking ... "well, if this is a game, I'd obviously be the best at it; so let's show these humans how to really hide!"

And this is me hiding behind the television.

You wouldn't be able to find me if the stupid camera flash didn't make my eyes go so sparkly.

She's not strangling me ...

Please don't worry about me.

I know it looks a bit scary.

But it's not.  My human's really not strangling me ... 

... I just like lying like this.

Sorting PhD thingy things ...

I walked into our living room & was confronted with this.

My human is apparently sorting PhD-thingy things out.

Looks just like a big mess to me.