I don't think much of the new kitchen ...

I told you all earlier about my human and the human she calls "Dad" breaking the kitchen didn't I?

Well; it appears we have our new kitchen.  But I have to say I'm not at all impressed with it.  It looks nothing like a kitchen to me.  And it's in the living room!?  What kind of kitchen is that?

I'm beginning to worry that the PhD thingy has taken its toll on my human and she's finally gone mad.

It all started on Thursday night when she put 2 big sheets down on the floor.  I went to bed with her as usual, but once she was asleep, I got up and started to fold the sheets back up.  I didn't want to say anything to her, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I thought I'd just quietly put them away.  It got cold though, so I went back to bed and forget about the sheets ... until we got up the next morning.

"What have you been doing to them?" she asked me, before straightening them back out.  All of my hard work for nothing.

She then told me that they were there ready for our new kitchen.  Why would you need sheets in the living room for a kitchen?

And then, I found my human making her breakfast in the passage.  What was that all about?  Our kitchen seems to be taking over our whole flat.

It just made no sense to me, so after having my breakfast, in the proper kitchen where my dishes are, I went back to bed & snuggled up under the duvet.

A few hours later I got up and sleepily wandered through the living room ... & suddenly stopped in my tracks.

"Woah!!  What's happened here?" I thought.

My human told me it was our new kitchen.

It doesn't look much like a kitchen to me.

The only thing that looks like it might belong in a kitchen is this sink.  But it's not much good here is it?  The carpet will get wet if she washes the dishes here.

I thought I'd give it a closer look over, but it sill doesn't look like a kitchen to me.  

I can't decide if my human has been duped, or if the PhD thingy finally has taken its toll ....

Oh; so this was meant to be my surprise Christmas present was it ... ?!?

What do you mean human; this was meant to be my Christmas present? 

The envelope was on the piano. I smelled catnip. I'm the only cat who lives here, so I knew it must be for me. So I opened it. 

It was a bit difficult, but the smell of that catnip kept me going.

And yes, I'm sorry for biting & scratching you when you tried to take the present off me ... but I just HAD to get in to that catnip.

And look how lovely it was when I did manage to open it ... a lovely little cushion with a Christmas tree on it ... stuffed full of catnip.

Catnip ... to give you humans some idea of how good catnip is, it's like wine & chocolate & everything else yummy all rolled into one ... 

It's nearly as nice as Dreamies ...

My human's broken our kitchen ... & now we need a new one ...

My human has been talking for ages about wanting a new kitchen. We've looked at lots of books & websites with pictures of kitchens in them. But I didn't really know why. There was nothing wrong with our kitchen; it has a lovely corner for my dinner, treats & water dishes & a perfectly comfortable & discreetly placed litter tray. It's fine.

Or at least it was.

And then my human started writing on the walls !?! 

It looked like she was enjoying herself whilst she did it, but I just couldn't work out why she was putting graffiti all over the walls.

And then it got even worse ...

The human she calls 'Dad' came along whilst my human was out at work & started really breaking the kitchen. He was hitting the walls with a hammer. I thought he'd gone mad! 

And I was really worried about what my human would say when she came home to find our kitchen all broken ...

I wanted to stop him, but I didn't know how to.

And then I remembered what she'd written on one of the walls ... "Thank you Dad, xxx"

Did she know he was going to come & break our kitchen?

She must have done if she was thanking him.

And he did do a really good job of breaking it.

I now agree with my human that we need a new kitchen. We can't possibly live with ours as it is now. 

The good thing that came out of it for me though, is that I got treats in bed!

I've never had treats in bed before.

Once I'd decided that my human must have wanted our kitchen breaking (I guess it gives her the excuse to get that new kitchen she's been talking about) I just took myself off to bed. I wasn't going to sit in the dusty, noisy kitchen. I wanted my cosy, comfy snooze.

But because I stayed in there such a long time, Dad the human brought some treats in for me.

He told me not to tell my human that he'd done that, because she probably wouldn't like me having treats in bed.

But he stupidly forgot to take the dish away once I'd eaten them, so when she came home from work & saw my treats dish sitting on the bed next to the creased bit where I'd been lying,my human guessed what he'd done.

I'm just hoping that she thinks that what he did was a good idea ... & that she starts bringing me treats into bed.

I mean ... what better place to have Dreamies than in the place where you have dreamy-dreams?

Leave the PhD thingy alone ...

I've just been looking on my human's Facebook page & she posted this comment earlier with this pic ...

   ~ "This is one of the reasons it's taking me so long to write up my thesis!
~ if she's not miaowing at me for attention, for treats or to be let outside, she's sitting on the books & papers I'm working on or trying to sit on my knee in impossible positions ..."

How can she not see how upset, frustrated & angry I get with her when she keeps doing that PhD thingy? It's like it's the most important & time consuming thing in her life right now. But that's wrong. Because I am!

She put this bit of scrunchy tissue paper down on the floor for me. I think she thought it would distract me & that I'd curl up & go to sleep on it ... she knows how much us cats like to snuggle into boxes & papers.

But I wasn't going to fall for that. Oh no! Do you know how much fun I've been having pawing, scrunching & tearing the paper? And it makes a lovely scrunchy noise.

Which apparently is very annoying & distracting for my human! Tee hee!!

   ~ Well; if she left the PhD thingy alone and played with me instead, I wouldn't need to be such a pest. 

Until she gives it up though, I'm going to continue getting in the way & making as much noise as I can ...

Proper paper pages ...

There's just no escape from it.

I thought that reading in bed would be nice, easy, relaxing stories.

Apparently not though.

This is me & my human snuggling up in bed together to do some bedtime reading ...

But it's not nice bedtime stories she's reading. And it's not even a proper book with proper paper pages ... this is all about the stupid PhD thingy again.

Apparently, the PhD thingy stuff she needs to read is only on here ...

Stupid iPad, stupid PhD thingy ... I just want to throw them both in the bin & have my human all to myself. With proper bedtime stories in a proper book with proper paper pages.