It got worse; my take away was stolen ...

Twice today he's stolen from me.  Twice in one day.  Can you believe it?  I know I couldn't.  

But I had to.  Because it really happened to me.

Earlier today I had a little conversation with a friend on Facebook about its being Sunday & the fact that on Sundays, my human goes somewhere for something called 'Sunday Dinner' and brings me back a take away.

When she went out today, I began imagining what I might get when she came home.  My thoughts and tummy took me to thinking about pork and gravy ... yummy.

And so I wished & hoped & prayed that today my human would bring me pork & gravy.

And guess what?!?



Guess what was inside my take away?



Yes; my dream came true ....

Yummy, yummy pork & gravy!!


I was so happy!


I decided that I wouldn't eat it all straight away though.

I thought it was so yummy that I would just have a little taste & then save the rest for later.  It's always good to have something to look forward to isn't it?

And what better thing to look forward to than yummy pork & gravy.

And look; my human even put it on a lovely proper plate for me!


And all was good in the house for a while.


Human went back onto her computer to do more work on PhD-thingy & I happily settled myself on the chair next to her, quite content in the knowledge that I had yummy pork & gravy waiting for me.

But then ...

It all went very badly wrong ...

Human heard the tell-tale signs of munching.

She went to investigate ...

NO!!!  NO!!!!  NO!!!!!

STUPID BLACK-&-WHITE WAS BACK.

AND NOT ONLY HAD HE EATEN WHAT WAS LEFT IN MY DINNER DISH, BUT HE'D ALSO EATEN MY TAKE AWAY!!!  NO!!!!

My yummy pork & gravy that I'd been saving & looking forward to was gone.

We were just in time to see him running away again.  With a very full tummy this time.

I was devastated.

Even my human felt sorry for me.

She gave me some Dreamies, which were yummy.  But they weren't pork & gravy.

Stupid black-&-white got that.

I've now got to wait a whole other week before I get another take away ...

I've been robbed!! Again ...

I've been robbed!

~ Black-&-white has stolen my dinner. Again!

~ Human & I were peacefully working away on PhD-thingy (well, she was working, I was sleeping) when we both heard noises coming from the kitchen.

~ When we went to investigate, we saw black-&-white run out of the kitchen & across the yard. 

~ Look: this is him making his escape!!

And even then though, look; he even had the audacity to stop & look back at us!

~ But then when I checked my bowl, my heart sank ... it was empty.

~ And to make matters worse, black-&-white is a messy eater; just look at the mess he made on the floor & mat. My human wasn't happy about it.

~ She wasn't unhappy as I was about having had my dinner stolen again though ...

Sick & tired of him stealing my dinner ...

Human had to give me fresh dinner again tonight ...

  ~ Stupid black-&-white sneaked in again & stole mine.  Again. Human only heard him when he moved on to my crunchy biscuits.

  ~ I feel sorry for him, because his humans obviously don't feed him as well as my human feeds me. 

  ~ But I am getting a bit tired of him stealing my dinner.

In fact, I'm sick & tired of him stealing my dinner ...

Do cats get OCD or Aspergers ... ?

Human tidied all of my toys up tonight & put them all on my scratch post.

I didn't want them there.

So I took them all back off & put them back on the floor where they belong. And I had great fun doing so!

Human thought it a bit odd how I made a straight line with some of them, off to the side of the post.

I didn't think there was anything odd about it.

I just wanted them in a nice straight line.

And to see them back on the floor where they belong.

And if she hadn't disturbed me I'd have kept making them all into a much longer line. 

I got really annoyed when she stopped me because I was planning to make a lovely long line straight across the whole living room carpet. 

But as usual, she spoiled my fun.

And that's what I thought it was.

Just fun. Fun to make a lovely long straight line.

But actually ... 

I'm a little bit worried about myself now. Now that human's mentioned it, I'm a little bit worried about why I wanted to make a nice straight line with some of them.

I don't know if human's PhD thingy is stressing me out or if I've been reading too many of her books.  But I'm wondering ...

Do cats get OCD or Aspergers ... ?

They're not yummy Dreamies ...

My human tried to trick me today.

She told me I could have some Dreamies if I came inside. And so because it wasn't a very sunny day & because I liked the idea of having some yummy Dreamies, I went inside.

But imagine my disappointment & upset when I discovered that the so called 'treats' in my dish weren't Dreamies.

I was so disgusted in my disappointment that I just left them.

In fact, I left them all day.

Tonight, I thought I'd ask my human for some Dreamies to see if she would give me some real ones.

"Human," I miaowed. "Please can I have some real Dreamies?"

"Elsie," she said. "What do you want? You've got dinner in your dish and you've already got treats."

"Oh, but human; I don't want dinner. And I don't want those treats. I want Dreamies."

"Please give me proper yummy Dreamies," I pleaded.

She eventually gave in & opened a new packet of Dreamies.

I don't know why, but she left the old yucky treats in the dish too. I think she thought I'd be stupid enough to just eat them all.

But I'm not stupid. I can tell the difference between yummy Dreamies & yucky other non-Dreamies treats.

At least she had the decency to keep them separate. She could have been really devious & mixed them all together, which would have made it a little bit more tricky for me to separate them, but I'd have done it. No way was I going to eat yucky non-Dreamies.

So it was quite easy for me really to eat the yummy Dreamies & just leave the yucky non-Dreamies.

What upsets me even more though is that she'd tried to fob me off with yucky non-Dreamies treats called 'Whiskas'.

Now my human knows that before I moved in with her & she gave me my lovely Elsie name, my horrible other humans used to call me Whiskas.

What kind of name is that for a cat? We have whiskers & some cats (not me of course) eat Whiskas, but it's not a good name is it?

And surely, she must have realised that giving me yucky Whiskas treats would make me remember all of the nasty times I had before I moved in with my lovely human. How could she do that to me?

She might be lovely most of the time, but sometimes she can be very stupid.

I think we've cleared it up now though. I think I made my point plainly enough.

Yucky Whiskas. Yummy Dreamies.

And just remember human; you can't fool me ...

I'm going to play with lions ...

I was fast asleep this morning on my lovely bed, dreaming of Dreamies.

And then suddenly, my human picked me up! 

I wasn't happy about it, & I let her know that! I miaowed angry stuff at her & even gave her a little warning nip! I didn't bite her properly. She'd have known about if I had! But I had to let her know how unhappy I was at being woken up from my lovely dream.

"Little Miss Angry Cat" she called me, so at least she got the message!

Things got worse then though.

She carried me into the counselling room, & that was when I saw it.

The horrible cage she puts me in when we're going to the vet.

I tried to fight & stop her putting me in it. I shouted & yelled at her. But she just pushed me inside, & shut the door on me. 

I was not happy. Both at being just shoved into the cage, but also at realising where we were going. And also, in fact even more so, angry at my human for not telling me & waking me up so sneakily.

If she'd told me, I'd have gone outside & not come back in time. She didn't give me that option though did she?!

And then we went in the car.

I hate that thing! I can't see where I'm going & I don't like the sensation of moving without moving my legs.

That's just not right. 

I also couldn't understand why we were going. Neither of us had hurt ourselves or were poorly, so why did we need to go?

I let human know I wasn't happy about it all. I cried loudly all the way there & back. And I even kept shouting once we got to the vets'.

The vet liked me though!

How could she not?

She said I was obviously a very strong character!

As soon as my human opened the cage, I jumped out & jumped down onto the floor! Human had to chase me to pick me up for the vet to look at me.

And then they put me on the scales to make sure I wasn't too fat or too skinny.  Seemed like a waste of time to me. You can see by looking at me that I'm just perfect.

And then I jumped out of the scale! The vet laughed because it was a very impressive jump! "Nothing wrong with her is there?" she said. "Her leg's obviously all better now." (Remember, the last time I was at the vets' was when I had my sore knee).

Human had to chase me again, before putting me back up on the table. 

And this was when I found out why I was here ...

My human was holding me & suddenly, the vet put a needle in the back of my neck. "Ouch!" I yelled. "That hurt!"

And that was when I remembered my human telling me about her going to her vets' a couple of times recently to get travel vaccinations for when she goes off to stay with the lions in somewhere called South Africa. 

I must be going with her!?

Oh, I'm excited! I'm going to play with lions ...

I'm not sharing my take away ...

Sunday night is often take-away night!

Mmmmm .....

Look! Tonight is take-away night!

My human apparently goes somewhere for something called 'Sunday Dinner' on a Sunday.  And sometimes she brings me a take-away.

It's my take-away Sunday Dinner. It's always yummy! I always get meat & gravy!

Mmmmm .... 

Tonight, it's chicken!

Chicken's my favourite!

So I'm eating it quick before any of the other cats come round to share it.

 

This is mine!

And I'm not sharing it ...

I don't care about the cost; I just care about my breakfast ...

Me & my human were quite peacefully sitting in our living room this morning. Me on my lovely new bed; her reading one of her PhD-thingy chapters.

All was well with the world & I was dreaming of yummy Dreamies.

Until ...

I was rudely awakened from my dream.  I just knew something was wrong. As I opened my eyes & my ears, I could hear noises coming from my kitchen. 

I could hear munching noises coming from my kitchen.  I could hear my breakfast being eaten & I knew that it wasn't me making the munching noises. I wasn't eating my breakfast.

But somebody was!

Human opened the door for me & guess what I saw?

Not little grey cat this time, but black & white cat.

Black & white cat eating my breakfast. I hadn't been very hungry earlier, so I'd been saving my breakfast for later.

But look; black & white cat had eaten most of it up!

It was gone! 

And to make matters worse; look at the sloppy mess he's left on the floor! My human had just washed my floor nice & clean for me last night. How dare he make a mess!

I'm sure I don't need to tell you how furious I was! I'm sure you can imagine!

So I chased him!

But look, at the arrogance of him as he just sauntered across my yard.  Mind, he probably didn't feel much like running; his tummy was so full up with my breakfast.

I yelled at him! I'm not going to tell you what I said; I don't think my human would like it! But rest assured, I let him know exactly what I thought of him.

And he did eventually run away. I just stood there for a while making sure he was gone & taking lots of slow deep breaths (as I've learned from my human) to calm myself down.

Whilst I was out there making sure he'd gone, my human was washing my dish & the floor. I think she too wanted to get rid of all trace of him.

She put a nice new sachet of breakfast out for me. I ate it this time, before anybody else could steal it.

My human's complaining about the cost of feeding the neighbourhood cats.  

I don't care about the cost; I just care about my breakfast.

My M&S cat bed advert ...

Yes thank you human; I am still enjoying sleeping on my new bed.

And yes human; I know that you put it on the chair almost a week ago.

And yes, I know you had to go shopping without it.

What I don't understand though, is why you wanted to take my bed shopping with you ...

Apparently it came from somewhere called Marks & Spencer ... I have no idea where that is, but I know my human goes there a lot. 

I make a good advert for M&S cat beds don't I ... ?!

Happy tummies all round ...

Stupid human.  Again.

I'd been quite happily sitting out in my back yard, knowing my dishes were full. Just sitting in the kitchen waiting for when my tummy needed filling.

Relaxed.  Happy.  All was well with my world.

But then ...

Stupid little grey cat dared to come into my yard.  And what's more, he dared to walk right past me & went straight into my kitchen!

I couldn't believe what I was seeing! 

I very nearly attacked him, because I didn't want him to eat my tea. 

But then I thought ... maybe that was selfish of me.  I bet he doesn't live with such a lovely human as I do. And I bet he doesn't get such yummy dinners.  If you remember, a few weeks back, he sneaked into my kitchen when I wasn't around & ate my tea? He must have liked it.

So, I thought I'd be kind & let him have it.  I knew my human would give me more anyway.  This is me just sitting outside the kitchen door, letting him eat my tea ...

See; I've got my back towards the door, so he thinks I can't see him & don't know what's going on.

What was really funny though was my human! She'd been sitting in the living room & heard the munching ... & obviously thought it was me eating my tea all up. She thought I must have been starving & really enjoying it by the munchy noises!! (Bless little grey cat; he was really enjoying it!)

Anyway, she thought she'd be clever & shut the back door so I didn't run away outside before bedtime.  So into the kitchen she came ... & little grey cat ran!

All my human saw was the almost empty dish & a cat racing across the yard & up onto the wall ..,

"Oh no Elsie!" she said, thinking it was me who was running away ... before quickly recognising that it wasn't me up on the wall!!

Her face was a picture when she realised what had happened! Even more so when she spotted me sitting outside the back door & realised that I knew what had happened!

What she didn't know though was that I'd let little grey cat into kitchen to eat my tea. And she felt really sorry for me ... tee hee!

She washed my dish out & gave me a whole new sachet ... which is exactly what I knew would happen!

See; this is me licking my lips after eating some of it ... 

And then, it all ended even happier ...

Not only had little grey cat had a yummy supper & a happy tummy, & I had a full dish again, but when human had gotten up to close the door, she'd been eating yummy Greek yoghurt. And she'd put the bowl down & forgotten all about it ...

Mmmm ... I love Greek yoghurt!

And now that I have a full tummy, I'm just sitting next to my human watching the news on TV ...

What a lovely evening ... full & happy tummies all round ...

She wants to take my new bed shopping ...

My human was very kind to me this morning & gave me a new bed.

It's quite nice, but I've had softer ones. It's a little bit crinkly & plasticky, but it's nice.

I got all settled down on it & then my human came along & said; "Oh Elsie! I put that there ready to go shopping."

Why would she want to take my new bed shopping ... ?!?