What's happened to my tea ... ?

My human let me down very badly last night.

She let me out as usual, & left the back door open for me whilst she ate her tea.

Whilst I was out there, patrolling my neighbourhood & making sure none of those other pesky cats were up to mischief, little was I to know it was all going wrong inside my kitchen.

Stupid human let black & white cat get into the kitchen & eat my tea.

When I went out my dish was full of my tea. I'd made sure my human had filled it for me before I went out. And it was one of my favourites ... turkey & liver. I was really looking forward to it when I got back.

But when I got back, I knew something had happened. There was no turkey & liver in my dish. It had been replaced with lamb. And okay, lamb is another of my favourites, but what had happened to the turkey & liver?!

And that's when I discovered my human's betrayal,

She'd let black & white cat eat my tea.

She said she'd been so busy eating her own tea that she hadn't realised he'd sneaked into the kitchen. 

I'm not sure whether to believe her or not.

Apparently, she only realised he'd sneaked in when she took her plate back & he ran out of the kitchen.  She knew I wouldn't be happy about it & so washed my dish & replaced the half eaten tea. Which I guess was nice. Maybe she was trying to protect me from what had happened.

Or maybe she was trying to protect herself? Trying to cover up her big betrayal.

Look at my dish. See how much he'd eaten!

But I'm not stupid. I knew my tea had changed. So I knew something had happened. And that's when human had to confess & tell me everything.

She better not let it happen again ... 

Mindful eating malarkey ...

I'm still upset with my human today.

She laughed at me last night & I didn't like it. I didn't see anything funny.

I thought she'd been nice to me because she'd bought some yummy new crunchy biscuits. And they were very lovely.

In fact, they were so very yummy that I wanted to make the very most of them.  And so I thought about some of the things I've read about in my human's PhD thingy. 

And one of those things was something called 'mindful eating.'

For those of you who don't know, this means using your mind to eat.

 

Now, when I first read that, I thought it sounded a little bit silly, because we really use our mouths to eat, don't we?!  Not our minds.

But apparently, what it really means is thinking about what you're eating instead of just shovelling it in & swallowing it ... which I have to admit to doing sometimes with 'Dreamies.' 

Apparently, if you think about the food in your mouth, you taste it more & enjoy it better.  And it lasts longer! It also apparently helps you recognise when your tummy's full up, so you don't just keep mindlessly eating & get big & fat.

So because these new crunchy biscuits were so very yummy I wanted to practise this mindful eating malarkey.

I thought my human would be proud of me.  But she wasn't.  She just looked at me with a look of bemusement on her face.  Which I really didn't understand.

To slow my mouth down & to help my mind think, I took a mouthful of the yummy crunchy biscuits out of my dish & carried them along to the lovely kitchen mat.  I then let them fall out of my mouth ... & let me tell you, it took a LOT of restraint for me to do that & not just chew & swallow.

I then slowly ate them one at a time.

And when I'd finished them, I went back to my bowl & took another mouthful. This time though, my mind thought to take them to the nice soft living room carpet. And again, I spat them out before eating them one by one. 

And I did this time & time again until my bowl was empty.

 

I really thought my human would be proud; especially of my creativity.  I know that humans can put their knives & forks down between mouthfuls to help slow down their mouths.  Now us cats, don't use knives & forks, so I thought that putting the yummy crunchy biscuits down between mouthfuls would be a good way for me to do this.  I don't know why my human couldn't see that.  Considering she's doing a PhD thingy, she's very stupid sometimes.

I'm not sure what I think about this mindful eating malarkey.  With all of the walking between my bowl & the kitchen mat & the living room carpet, I was exhausted!  All of that extra exercise would stop me getting big & fat, never mind the eating with my mind.

I haven't had any of the yummy crunchy biscuits yet today, so I haven't decided how I'll eat them next time.  I don't want my human laughing at me again though, so I might just eat them with my mouth ... or then again, I might use my mind.

I'm a cat; I can do whatever I like!