Someone's trying to steal my human ...

I'm a little bit worried this morning.

I think some other cat is trying to steal my human from me.

I just went outside into our back yard this morning, so I hadn't seen it myself.

My human went out early this morning & I went & sat on the back of our sofa in the counselling room. I looked out of the window ... & that's when I saw it.

A little ... well actually, it wasn't so little, it was impressively big ... mouse.

A whole range of emotions went through me ... 

"Wow!" I thought. "That's big for a little mouse."

But then I felt disappointed that I hadn't had the chance to play with such an impressive mouse.

And then I felt a little big angry that some other cat had had all of the fun.

And then, I felt very angry. 

Very angry because which ever other cat had played with it before killing it had brought it into my front garden.

At first I thought it had done it to goad me. To show off to me & try to tease me; showing me what it had caught.

But then ... my heart sank.

And I began to wonder if that other cat had left the mouse there not for me ... but for my human.

Had they left it there as a present for her? 

Us cats can't go to the shops like you humans do (we don't get money), so we bring you our own special presents to show you how much we love you.

Why would another cat be bringing my human presents? 

I don't think my human's been playing with other cats (other than the ones I already know about who live with other humans she knows), so that means that this other cat (whoever he or she may be) is trying to impress my human. There's some other evil cat out there trying to poach my human.  

I don't blame them really, because my human is lovely. And our home is a lovely home to live in. But we don't have room for another cat. I'm the cat in this home. 

And that's when I started worrying. What if my human is impressed by that mouse? What if she likes getting presents & wants to live with a cat who brings her lots of gifts?

I sat at that window, just looking at that mouse, with all of these thoughts going round & round inside my head.

And then my human came home.

And I realised I had nothing to worry about.

She wasn't impressed at all by that mouse! She looked a little bit sad when she saw it. And, a little bit disgusted.

And actually, it was quite funny to watch what she did with it.  

She used a little trowel to push it onto a shovel ... & the look of disgust & horror on her face was quite comical to watch. I don't think she enjoyed having to do it! And then she just dropped the mouse into a bag before just throwing it into the bin!

I did wonder if she did it like that because she was trying to hide it from me. Was she having an affair with another cat which she was trying to keep secret?! 

And I did worry about that for a few minutes.

But no; that look on her face & the way she cringed when she picked the mouse up told me very clearly that she wasn't impressed.

I must remember that & make sure I never bring any mice home. I haven't up until now. They keep getting away from me if I'm honest. But anyway, I don't need to look for mice to play with. I've got lots of toys which my human has bought for me. And they're good fun. And I get lovely dinners from my human so I don't need to bother chasing mice to eat. My tummy is always filled with much tastier things.

Have you ever tasted a mouse? No? I wouldn't bother. They're not that tasty.

I'm feeling a little bit better now. I know my human loves me & she doesn't want another cat.

But, I am going to have to keep an eye out & see who this other cat is who's trying to steal my human ...

They're not getting her; she's mine.

All mine.
And I'm keeping her for myself.
She's not for sale; no matter how many presents you bring for her.

So watch out other cat ... whoever you are.