I've been out for your breakfast ....

My human has been giving me lots of my favourite 'Dreamies' treats recently, and so I thought I'd go out & find her a present to say 'thank you' ...

I went out as usual, before breakfast, when my human opens the back door for me.  And whilst out there, I noticed a lovely fat bird, which I thought looked yummy!  As I hadn't had my breakfast, I did think about killing it for myself and eating it, but then I thought, "No Elsie.  That would be a lovely present to take home as a thank you present for my human."

And so I went after it, I pounced and I caught it.  I sunk my teeth into it and shook it, as us cats do to kill our prey.  "Wow!" I thought.  "That's impressive.  My human will love it for her breakfast.  It'll be so fresh and tasty ... & she might just leave me little bit!"

And so I kept tight hold of it in my mouth ... it's hard to do when it's feathers are tickling your teeth and lips.  But I kept it there, I ran all the way home, with the bird tightly held in my mouth.

And I ran into our house, & pushed our living room door open ... & my human jumped up!  I thought she was happy and excited to see what I'd brought her!  I ran over to her & I dropped the beautiful bird breakfast at her feet, miaowing and purring loudly!  I felt so very proud of myself, for catching the bird ... they can be difficult things to catch because they have stupid habit of trying to fly away.  I also felt proud that I'd managed to resist the temptation of eating it for myself whilst it was still fresh & took it home instead for my human.  It's the first present I've ever taken her.

Human; here's your breakfast ...

But ... she didn't seem happy.  And I couldn't understand why.  She seemed a little bit shaken, if I'm honest.  And she said something that sounded like, "Urgh!" That wasn't the reaction I was expecting.  She was meant to be happy & to tuck straight into it for her breakfast ... & of course, leave me a little bit on the bones to share.

After a short while, she seemed to pull herself together & she stroked me and thanked me ... but it felt a little bit too late.  And then I tried to pick it up again to give to her, but she pushed me away from it ... again with that squeamish, shakiness.

And then it got worse.  She went into the kitchen & came back with our little dustpan & brush (the one she uses to brush up my litter when I shake it out from my toes after using my litter tray) & a carrier bag.  I think she was going to just throw the bird away!  She tried to brush it up ... but more of that pathetic squeamish, shakiness happened.

And then she picked me up & took me into the counselling room & shut us both in there.  Why?  I kept miaowing at her to let us out.  What were we doing locked in this room, when there was a tasty fresh bird just waiting to be eaten sitting by itself in the other room?

Anyway, next thing I know, the other human who comes to feed me when my human goes away was at the front door.  She had to open the counselling room door then obviously to go & let him in ... & so whilst she did that, I took my chance & ran back into the living room & dived back onto my bird.  If my human didn't want it, I thought I might as well just have it all myself.  I felt really annoyed though, because I could have eaten it straight away when it was lovely & fresh, but no, I put my human first & took it home for her.

But then ... the two human came into the living room & I got a fright, & dropped it.  By this time, there were little black feathers all over the carpet!!  And then, the other human just picked my bird up by its leg & threw it into a carrier bag.  It wasn't for him.  He had no right to come down and steal my bird, just because my human didn't want it.  And just because he feeds me.  He had no right to do that. Stupid, stupid human.

Anyway, he took it away.  The bird's gone now.  The feathers have been hoovered up by that horrible, scary  hoover machine.

And I'm still annoyed.  And upset that my human didn't eat my present for her breakfast ...

But at least my present was better than the mouse that was left outside a couple of week's back ...

** see Monday 17th June 'Someone's trying to steal my human' for that particular story.