Her finger's having panic attacks ...

Do you remember me telling you yesterday that I was worried I was going to have one of those 'sleepless nights' that I hear you humans have?

I hope you didn't have a sleepless night last night worrying about me having a sleepless night?

Because I didn't! I slept like a kitten ... well; like any cat does really. You know how good we are at sleeping ... practice makes purrfect & all that ...

I did though, when I was snuggling into my human before we went to sleep, spend a little bit of time thinking about what my human had told me about her finger after her latest trip to the vets.  And I think I believe her now that the latest contraption she has to wear really does have nothing to do with me & that silly little scratch.

This was me thinking about her finger before my sleepfull night ...

Now I thought, when I've heard my human talking about 'panic attacks,' that they were just something like a trick a human's mind plays on them to scare themselves. And I didn't realise that bits of a human's body (cats' bodies too, I guess) could get panic attacks.

But it seems to me that that's what's happening to my human's finger ...

Her finger got a big fright when she burned it. The nerves especially,were frightened ... so would I be I think, if I'd been burned! They, and her skin, are still working hard to repair themselves & get back to normal. But they're still traumatised. And now, whenever anything gets close to them, or they're moved, they panic. Aarrgghhh!! They get scared that they're going to get hurt again & so they go on high alert (like when a cat is stalking tasty prey), meaning that my human now feels a lot of pain whenever she moves her finger or touches anything with it.

Her poor little nerves are terrified. Her finger is living in constant fear of being hurt again.

It seems to me that she needs to spend some time doing that counselling thing that she does with her clients to her own finger to help it get over its trauma & fear.

I wonder if my human realises that her finger keeps having panic attacks? 

She will if she reads this ...

I hope it's not really my fault ...

My human came back from her vets today with something called a 'silicone sleeve' on her finger. It looks a bit like a skin-coloured bandage, but she can bend her finger in it.

She says it's to help with the scar tissue that's building up on her finger, but I'm a bit scared that it's because I scratched it last night ...

She wouldn't lie to me, would she? 

I'm now all anxious & worried that I'm going to have one of those 'sleepless nights' that I sometimes hear you humans talking about. As a cat, I'm very good at sleeping, & I've never had a sleepless night. But when I've listened in at the door when my human has had a client, I've heard them talking about not being able to sleep because of worrying.

Worrying & anxiety can be very troubling. I hope I'm going to be alright ...

Cuddles are mutual things ...

Last week I wrote a post about the importance of cuddles ... for both humans and cats.

Today, I just want to share a couple of photos with you ...






This is me giving my human a cuddle ... no reason, I just wanted to give her one.  Aren't they the best cuddles to get?

I hope she liked it as much as I did.  I think she did.  She always seems to enjoy our cuddle time.

 


And then, later in the evening, this was me snuggling in & being cuddled by my human.

Cuddles are mutual things though aren't they?

  If you're giving someone a cuddle, you can't help but get a cuddle back ...

The meaning behind the present is what really matters ...

As you already know, 'Dreamies' are my very favourite treats.  They're just so yummy!!  Have you ever tried them?  I won't let my human try mine ... I want to keep them all for myself.

So just imagine how happy I was earlier when I was playing out in the back yard & the human who lives upstairs from me & my human gave me a present!  Well, she actually gave the present to my human ... I can't carry many things in my paws when I'm walking ... but the present is mine!

And just see what it is!!!

She always has a few treats ready to give me when we're in the back yard at the same time, but today, she gave me these treats to keep in my house!!

It's lovely to receive presents isn't it?  Because it means that the person who gives you the present has been thinking about you ... & that's nice.  The human who lives upstairs was obviously thinking about me when she was doing her shopping!

I think there was a special reason the human was thinking about me this week; and that reason makes her thinking about me even more precious.  I think that when she bought my present, she was probably thinking about someone else too; & giving me this present has made me & my human remember happy & sad times.  Not in a bad way, but with fondness.  Things we all experienced together, being remembered & shared again through a present.

And it's this that makes presents more precious.  It's not the actual physical thing or how much it cost ... as a cat, I don't really understand money anyway.  Why do you need it?  What is it?  Bits of paper and metal as far as I can work out.  But it's the thought behind the present that really matters. The memories that are maybe tied in with that particular present.  The unique meaning that the present has, both for the person who gave it & the one (cat) who receives it.

Presents can be a way of sharing memories.  They can be a way of people saying things to each other without words.  Don't just see the present, see the past & future that are also maybe symbolised there.  See the meaning and feel the emotions that are so much more powerful and precious than the physical gift.

I'm off now to try & persuade my human to give me some of those treats ...

Cuddles are important ...

Me & human snuggling together 

I've learned a little bit about 'depression' since living with my human.  From what I've learned from her and her books, it sounds like a nasty thing to experience.  It can leave human feeling sad, lonely and hurting.  I understand that for someone living with depression, life can feel very hard, and each day can feel like a chore to get through. And that doesn't sound like a good way to live.  I wouldn't like to feel like that.

It's difficult for me to understand what depression for humans feels like, but I think I have a little idea.  Before I moved in with my human and was just living outside I felt very sad and lonely.  So sad sometimes, that I just needed to keep licking my tummy & my legs ... and lots of the fur fell out.  I didn't really understand what I was doing, or why I was doing it at the time.  It was just something I felt I had to do.

Look at how much love I needed ... all those bald spots

I now understand though, from my human, that I was probably trying to comfort myself.  I felt so sad and lonely because I had no human to live with or to stroke or cuddle me.  Us cats like the feeling of being stroked because it reminds us of when we were little babies & our mummy cats licked & groomed us.  Because I was feeling so sad and lonely, I was craving that loving feeling that I'd gotten from my mummy cat.  But she wasn't there.  And I wasn't living with a human who could substitute, so I had to try to love, cuddle & groom myself.  And I did that by licking & cleaning my fur.  Lots.  Because I felt so sad and lonely and needed lots of love.

And I believe that this is a similar thing to when humans 'self harm.'  It might look like they're hurting themselves, but whatever they're doing (cutting or scratching themselves, maybe over-eating or drinking), they're trying to comfort themselves or bring about a sense of relief.  I'll write more about this another day ... it's something else I've learned about from my human.

Once I moved in with my human though, she gave me lots of cuddles & spent a long time stroking me and she became a very good substitute mummy cat.  I purr a lot these days when she cuddles me.  Because I'm happy now.  I know I'm loved.  I know I'm safe.  I have a lovely home to live in & I get lots of nice food ... & treats!

A cute picture I found on Facebook

And cuddles are good for human too.  Humans feel safe & happy & connected too, when they give & receive cuddles.  Research (so my human tells me) shows that humans who don't get cuddles tend to be less happy, less fulfilled & experience more depression than those who do.  So people who live on their own, are more likely to feel depressed.  Not just because of the loneliness and isolation they can feel, having no one to talk to or share things with.  But also because of the lack of touch, of bodily contact they experience.

Apparently though, there are also some people who live together, in couples and families, who don't like cuddles.  And that can be hard for the people in the family who do.  They can feel deprived of contact & feel sad and lonely, even when they're together.  And that's sad.  I

And that's why furry friends (cats especially, I'd say!!) are so good for people.  And one of the reasons why it's good for humans to find, & live with a furry friend.  Especially for those people who live on their own, or don't get the cuddles and bodily contact they need from their families.

Me & my human cuddling each other 

I love cuddles with my human.  And I'm very happy now.

I don't have a cardigan to wear ...

I know it's a nice day outside ... I've been out lots today.

But ... is there any need for my human to have all the windows and the back door open?  I think not.  I'm freezing and have had to come under the duvet to keep warm.

See that bump on the right?  That's me keeping warm.

Now, I know fresh air is good for us.  And I know from what  my human tells me, and what I've read in some of her books, that fresh air and exercise is good for us all ... cats, humans & all other animals too.
Fresh air and exercise apparently helps ease depression and can cheer people up, and make them feel better.

I can understand that because I get lots of fresh air and exercise.  I go out a few times every day.  Sometimes, I just sit in the yard, sometimes I run round it & sometimes I go for long walks or runs along the back yard walls.  I also like to go for a run around the block ... my human lets me out the back door & I go running along the walls & the pavements & then I turn up at the front door!! Or rather, I sit on the sill of my human's counselling room window until she can be bothered to come & let me in.

See ... .we both get our exercise.  Me outside & my human from when she has to keep getting up to see if I'm ready to come in yet or not.  Just another example of me looking after my human, making sure she gets enough exercise.  And then of course, there's all the times she has to get up from working at her computer when I'm shouting at her to give me those yummy treats I wrote about earlier!!  We're a good team!

But it's about time, she thought about me as much.  Because there she is, happily working away on her computer with all the windows open, letting lots of nice fresh air into our house.

And okay, that's a good thing, but she's got her cardigan on ... I don't have a cardigan to wear.  So I've had to come to bed ...

The human thinks I'm stupid ... I'm not ...

My human is very kind and buys me yummy treats.  She keeps them in the cupboard where I can't reach them and so I have to ask her when I want some.

I don't know why, but she seems to get annoyed with me.  I know I ask for them lots of times, but so would you, if you knew that yummy treats were in the cupboard and you couldn't get them.


She keeps saying to me; "You can't just keep eating these."

Well; what else does she expect me to do with them?  And she's not going to eat them is she?

And then she says; "These are meant to be treats.  You're just meant to get these when you've been a good girl."

Well; I'm always good.

Sometimes she gives me them to 'bribe' me out of here counselling room when she's got clients coming.  She shakes the packet and I go running into the kitchen.  She thinks she's clever because I always go running for the yummy treats.  What she hasn't realised is that I only go into the counselling room when I know she's got clients coming because I know that if I sit in there, she'll give me treats.  See; these humans think they're clever, but they're not as clever as us cats.

And then today, she tried to con me.  The second time I asked her for yummy treats, instead of the treats, she just put a few of my crunchy biscuits on the plate!?  Does she think I'm stupid?  Did she think I wouldn't spot the difference?

Of course, I knew straight away.

I just looked at them.  And then I looked up at her.

And then she laughed at me.

And then she gave the proper treats ...

My Sunday night take away ...

Those of you who have 'liked' me on Facebook might have already read this story; but for those of you who haven't, here it is again.  

And for those of you who haven't 'liked' me on Facebook, please click on my badge over on the right and 'like' me!!

Most Sundays my human goes out somewhere.  I'm not sure where she goes, but when she comes back, she brings me my very own Take Away.  And you thought it was just humans who had take aways!?!

It's always a bit of a surprise because, although I know that it will be meat and gravy, I never know what flavour it will be.

Yesterday, I was really lucky.  When my human put my take away in my dish for me to eat, there was loads of yummy gravy on it ... which, of course, I licked off first.  How else do you eat it?  And then I saved the meat for later.  When I went back for it, and tasted it, I was surprised at just how yummy it was!  It turned out to be chicken flavoured with garlic!  Mmmmm .... I wonder if my breath smells today?  I'll have to ask my human later ....

But then, I was having a conversation with a human who has 'liked' me on Facebook and she asked me why I never go out to eat.  I thought it was a bit of a funny question, because I often eat out ... me and my human have a lovely neighbour who lives upstairs from us. She keeps a bag of my favourite treats at the bottom of her stairs, and if we're out in the yard at the same time, she puts some on the ground for me ...

 ... So you see, I often get to eat out ...

My human's been to the vets' ...

It's been a few days since I've written on here.  That's because I've been keeping a close eye on my human, to make sure she doesn't burn our house down.  I've become quite attached to this house since I moved in over three years ago!!  As I said in my previous blog entry, her & I take good care of each other, and that's what I've been doing this week ...

I'll never sit this close to a candle holder again ... !!!

She hurt her hand last weekend and had to go straight to the vets to see if they could make her better.  She'd been lighting one of those pretty candles so that her and I could have a nice cosy, snuggly evening together, but something went wrong and she lit her hand instead!?  A bit of a silly thing to do if you ask me.  I know she often has cold hands (not so nice when she's tickling my tummy!?), but surely, snuggling into me would have been a much nicer way of warming them up instead of lighting a fire on her hands ... !?

Mind you, it could have been worse.  Can you imagine if it had been my paw she'd lit?  Burnt, singed, fur?  No; not good!  She's told me the story of another cat who used to live here with her before I moved in, called Scrumpy.  (Isn't that a nice name for a cat?  Not as nice as Elsie, but still nice).  Scrumpy went too close to one of those candles one night and singed her whiskers.  Apparently the smell of singed whisker stayed in the air for ages ... I never want to smell that smell!  Singed human is bad enough!  And since then, my human has only ever used candles in jars and special little holders, so us cats don't get burned.

A very smelly finger

Anyway ...  I think she must have gone to a different vets than the one she took me to.  Perhaps there are different vets for humans?  They didn't do a very good job of mending her.  When she came back, she had a big white thing wrapped around her hand.  And one of her fingers was completely wrapped up ... no chance of that one getting cold!  You'd have thought the fire would have warmed her hand up enough, but apparently not.  And the worst thing was ...  the smell!  Yuck!!  She told me it was the magic cream they'd put on her finger to help make it better ... didn't smell good to me at all.  It was so bad, I couldn't even bring myself to sit on her knee for my cuddle.  And when we went to bed, I had to sleep as far away from her hand as I could ... right at the bottom corner on my own.  No bedtime snuggles for either of us that night ...

Two wrapped up fingers now !?!

She went to the vets again the next morning ... she'd been told to a different one apparently this time, so I was hopeful that this one would fix her.  But if you ask me, they didn't seem to be any better than the one she'd been to the night before.  This time, she came back with 2 of her fingers wrapped up!  Apparently the burn on her middle finger, which the other vets hadn't bothered to wrap up, had continued to cook over night .... two fingers out of use now!  That's not good for tickling me!  But at least she didn't smell this time.

It's been amusing to watch her around the house this week; because she can't use those 2 fingers, she's struggled to do things she usually does just fine.  You should come and watch her washing the dishes with just one hand, trying to write, typing without using those fingers, brushing her teeth with her 'wrong' hand ... I could go on but I'll not embarrass her too much.  I think it's been good for her in some ways though, because she must now have more of an idea of what it's like to be me.  Me with my paws.  I don't have fingers, and I manage perfectly fine.  'Purr'sonally, I think she's making a big fuss over nothing.

It looks like some bizarre creature out to get me ...

I think it's going to drag on for a bit though.  I think she needs to find a better vet.  She went back and although she did come back with her middle finger less well wrapped up, her other finger just keeps getting bigger and bigger.  There's no chance of that one getting cold is there?  I mean, look at it ... it looks like some bizarre creature.  And it's not very good at tickling my head.

And from what she told me, her vet just sounds nasty and cruel.  I won't tell you what they did to her, or what she says her finger looked like ... sounds like something out of a horror movie!  I just hope she never takes me to that vet.

She assures me that the vets know what they're doing ... but I'm not so sure ...

Feline happiness ...

I've just been looking over my human's shoulder as she's been writing on her blog ... she was writing about how different things make people happy and that success means different things for different people.  Click here if you'd like to read it .... http://therapywithsharon.blogspot.co.uk/  'We all walk different roads.'

It's made me think about how complicated these human creatures are.  They seem to do and think about a lot of different things ... seems like a lot of hard work to me.  Unnecessary hard work.

I mean, happiness and success are easy aren't they?  What more do you need than a nice warm house, nice food and a cost knee to snuggle on ... that's what happiness is.  What more is there?!

Me; happily snuggled on my human's knee

Oops ?!

My human does some funny things sometimes, so how was I meant to know what was going on when I went to use my litter tray (as you do!) & found it not there!? The floor was all wet & smelly too!

I thought I should investigate cos I was worried that someone had crept into our house when we were busy on the computer & stolen my litter tray. What would I have done then?

But phew! There it was in the bathroom! Sitting with my dinners & the kitchen bin .. I told you my human does stupid things didn't I?!

What was even more odd though was that there was no litter in my tray! Now that's never happened before! I wasn't sure what to do cos I don't know where litter comes from ... there must be a cat litter shop somewhere that my human goes to; but she's never taken me there! Which is a bit of a cheek isn't it? I mean, I'm the one who uses the litter, shouldn't I get to choose it? My human does a good job though; she always gets good stuff.

Well, what's a cat supposed to do? So there I was, quite happily minding my own business doing my business when my human came in & started laughing at me?

"Could you not have waited 2 minutes, Elsie?" she asked. I was just cleaning the floor (that's what the funny smell was!) & your litter tray!"

Well; how was I meant to know?

And of course, she then had to wash my litter tray out all over again! Oops!

But at least it's nice & clean now ...