Human; you're going to have to keep guard ...

It's Sunday again & human's just home with my yummy take away.

Yummy roast chicken & gravy this week.

Look, she's put it on a nice plate for me & it's on my place mat, which very clearly says 'Little Miss Elsie Cat.'

Which means that it's mine.

Mine. 

No one else's.

You might remember the very sad thing that happened to me last Sunday when stupid greedy black-&-white sneaked in & stole my pork & gravy?

Well; it's not happening this week.

I'm keeping watch to make sure he doesn't sneak in again.

Only problem is, that whilst I'm sitting here watching out for him, I can't eat my yummy roast chicken & gravy.

This is no good,

Human; you're going to have to keep guard ...

Why doesn't he at least put all the food in his tummy ... ?!?

Stupid greedy black-&-white cat has been back.  Again.

He's getting slightly more clever though, because this time, human hadn't heard him.  And I was out, so I wasn't there with my better-than-human ears to hear him.

It was just when my human went into the kitchen & looked down at my dinner mat, that she knew he'd been back.

She knew I hadn't eaten it though because there was a tell-tale mess on the kitchen floor.

I hadn't been hungry earlier, when human put my yummy dinner out, so I'd just left it there for later.  Trusting that it would be there when I wanted it.

But no.

Thanks to stupid black-&-white, it was all gone.  Again.

I don't understand how he makes such a mess.

What on earth is he doing?

It's easy to eat your dinner.  And there's no need to spit it out on the floor.

As if it's not bad enough that he's stealing my dinner, he's wasting it, & leaving a mess on the kitchen floor for my human to clean up.

But by leaving that mess, we both knew that it was him who'd stolen my dinner.

He might think he's been clever by not making those loud munchie noises he usually makes, but the tell-tale mess on the kitchen floor, just tells me how stupid he is.

He's not that stupid though is he, if he keeps sneaking into our kitchen & stealing my yummy tea?  He obviously like Felix dinner as much as I love my Dreamies.

I'm just beginning to get a bit sick & tired of it though,

And I know my human is too, because every time he empties my dish, she has to re-fill it with another sachet.

The furious fury of the furious cat ...

I'm furious.

I was enjoying a lovely snuggly cuddle on my human's knee, when both of us heard the tell-tale sounds of munching coming from the kitchen.

Well, this time, I'd had enough.  I'm sick of having my dinner stolen.  So this time, I ran faster than my human & I got there before she did.  And more importantly, before stupid, greedy black-&-white cat (yes; it was him again) had a chance to run.

And this time I yowled.  I hissed.  I attacked him.

He ran out of the kitchen & jumped straight up onto the wall.  Cowardly scaredy cat obviously had to get out of my way.

Look at my furious face as I stood outside in the yard glaring at him.

It's seriously getting ridiculous now.

I've had enough of having my breakfast, dinner, team & take-aways stolen.

I'm out to get him now.

And then look at him trying to sling away along the wall.

Stupid, stupid cat.

But then again, when I stop to think about it, he's not so stupid is he?  My human gives my lovely, yummy dinners.  I bet his humans don't give him such lovely, yummy dinners.  if they did, he wouldn't need to come & steal mine would he?

Just when I was starting to think this way though & beginning to feel a little bit sorry for him, he went & did this.

And upset me again.

And made me angry again.

Sprayed my wall.

Trying to claim it. 

Trying to make it his territory.

Well it's not.  It's mine.

And how dare he try to leave his mark like this.

And then; it got worse.

Look at him.

Sitting up on the wall looking all self-righteous with a full tummy.

Oh, I've had enough now.

It's all out war.

He's still a coward though, because when my human walked closer to him to tell him off, he ran away.

Cowardly, scaredy cat.  Scared of my lovely human ...

He's got nothing on me though & the furious fury I'm currently feeling ...

It got worse; my take away was stolen ...

Twice today he's stolen from me.  Twice in one day.  Can you believe it?  I know I couldn't.  

But I had to.  Because it really happened to me.

Earlier today I had a little conversation with a friend on Facebook about its being Sunday & the fact that on Sundays, my human goes somewhere for something called 'Sunday Dinner' and brings me back a take away.

When she went out today, I began imagining what I might get when she came home.  My thoughts and tummy took me to thinking about pork and gravy ... yummy.

And so I wished & hoped & prayed that today my human would bring me pork & gravy.

And guess what?!?



Guess what was inside my take away?



Yes; my dream came true ....

Yummy, yummy pork & gravy!!


I was so happy!


I decided that I wouldn't eat it all straight away though.

I thought it was so yummy that I would just have a little taste & then save the rest for later.  It's always good to have something to look forward to isn't it?

And what better thing to look forward to than yummy pork & gravy.

And look; my human even put it on a lovely proper plate for me!


And all was good in the house for a while.


Human went back onto her computer to do more work on PhD-thingy & I happily settled myself on the chair next to her, quite content in the knowledge that I had yummy pork & gravy waiting for me.

But then ...

It all went very badly wrong ...

Human heard the tell-tale signs of munching.

She went to investigate ...

NO!!!  NO!!!!  NO!!!!!

STUPID BLACK-&-WHITE WAS BACK.

AND NOT ONLY HAD HE EATEN WHAT WAS LEFT IN MY DINNER DISH, BUT HE'D ALSO EATEN MY TAKE AWAY!!!  NO!!!!

My yummy pork & gravy that I'd been saving & looking forward to was gone.

We were just in time to see him running away again.  With a very full tummy this time.

I was devastated.

Even my human felt sorry for me.

She gave me some Dreamies, which were yummy.  But they weren't pork & gravy.

Stupid black-&-white got that.

I've now got to wait a whole other week before I get another take away ...

I've been robbed!! Again ...

I've been robbed!

~ Black-&-white has stolen my dinner. Again!

~ Human & I were peacefully working away on PhD-thingy (well, she was working, I was sleeping) when we both heard noises coming from the kitchen.

~ When we went to investigate, we saw black-&-white run out of the kitchen & across the yard. 

~ Look: this is him making his escape!!

And even then though, look; he even had the audacity to stop & look back at us!

~ But then when I checked my bowl, my heart sank ... it was empty.

~ And to make matters worse, black-&-white is a messy eater; just look at the mess he made on the floor & mat. My human wasn't happy about it.

~ She wasn't unhappy as I was about having had my dinner stolen again though ...

Sick & tired of him stealing my dinner ...

Human had to give me fresh dinner again tonight ...

  ~ Stupid black-&-white sneaked in again & stole mine.  Again. Human only heard him when he moved on to my crunchy biscuits.

  ~ I feel sorry for him, because his humans obviously don't feed him as well as my human feeds me. 

  ~ But I am getting a bit tired of him stealing my dinner.

In fact, I'm sick & tired of him stealing my dinner ...

Do cats get OCD or Aspergers ... ?

Human tidied all of my toys up tonight & put them all on my scratch post.

I didn't want them there.

So I took them all back off & put them back on the floor where they belong. And I had great fun doing so!

Human thought it a bit odd how I made a straight line with some of them, off to the side of the post.

I didn't think there was anything odd about it.

I just wanted them in a nice straight line.

And to see them back on the floor where they belong.

And if she hadn't disturbed me I'd have kept making them all into a much longer line. 

I got really annoyed when she stopped me because I was planning to make a lovely long line straight across the whole living room carpet. 

But as usual, she spoiled my fun.

And that's what I thought it was.

Just fun. Fun to make a lovely long straight line.

But actually ... 

I'm a little bit worried about myself now. Now that human's mentioned it, I'm a little bit worried about why I wanted to make a nice straight line with some of them.

I don't know if human's PhD thingy is stressing me out or if I've been reading too many of her books.  But I'm wondering ...

Do cats get OCD or Aspergers ... ?